Session whilst out for a walk
€ 70 · 60 minutes
(only one-to-one)
Online session
€ 70 · 60 minutes
One-to-one session
€ 70 · 60 minutes
Couple's session
€ 100 · 80 minutes
Depending on your needs, our session can take various forms. Whether we meet in person or online, in the office or outdoors, every session is a shared journey towards emotional clarity.
Let's talk
About
Dr Nikolaas Cassidy-Deketelaere
As a philosopher, I spent nearly 10 years conducting academic research at various European universities into love and sexuality—topics on which I have also published several books. However, theory only truly comes to life when used to help people. That is why I swapped the lecture theatre for the therapy room and trained as a couples counsellor in the Netherlands.
Today, I apply my theoretical knowledge to the everyday realities of couples. My background enables me to examine your patterns and tensions with a sharp, analytical eye. Together, we seek the emotional clarity needed for you to remain connected to one another in a truly authentic way.
I work with all couples and have a special interest in specifically queer couples, including non-normative forms of relationships or expressions of sexuality. After all, in my academic work, I researched and described the unique elements of these relationships, which can be fundamentally different from heteronormative patterns. Queer relationships therefore deserve a unique form of support.
"The beautiful thing about talking to Nikolaas is that absolutely anything can be discussed—no topic is too sensitive—and that everything is received and listened to with great respect and understanding."
— Raf (48), Leuven
What's my background?
Education
My interest in human connection has been a recurring theme throughout my career. After studying philosophy at KU Leuven, I completed my PhD at the University of Oxford as well as subsequently also obtaining a second PhD from the Catholic University of Paris and the Australian Catholic University. From the very beginning, topics such as love, relationships, and sexuality have been central to my academic research—in recent years, specifically from a queer perspective.
I have aso been putting this commitment into practice for a long time as a volunteer at Lumi, the helpline for questions about sexuality and gender organised by Çavaria (the umbrella organisation for the LGBTQ movement in Flanders). In the anonymous conversations I had there, I was confronted with the many pressing questions about relationships and sexuality that people struggle with. This drove me to want to use my academic expertise actively to genuinely help people.
As a relationship is, of course, not an abstract thought experiment, I decided to retrain as a couples therapist. To this end, I undertook a dedicated training programme in the Netherlands accredited by the Dutch Association for Couples and Family Therapy (NVRG) and the Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Therapies (VGCT). This combination of academic expertise and practice-oriented therapeutic training enables me to support couples with empathy, drawing on a solid foundation of knowledge about relationships and the challenges they represent.
2026
Basic Qualification Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy (IBCT)
2023
Doctor of Philosophy (PhD)
Institut Catholique de Paris
Australian Catholic University
2020
Doctor of Philosophy (DPhil)
University of Oxford
2017
Master of Studies (MSt)
University of Oxford
2016
Bachelor of Arts (BA)
KU Leuven
What can I help you with?
My work
Existential analysis
Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy (IBCT)
Non-normative forms of relationships and expressions of sexuality
Conceptually, my practice is based on an existential-analytical perspective. Relationship and sexual issues are understood in the context of how a person understands themselves and their own life.
Therapeutically, my practice is based on what is known as 'Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy'. This is an evidence based form of therapy that helps couples with change and acceptance, as well as the development of communication skills.
My practice focuses in particular on forms of relationships and expressions of sexuality that do not fit within the 'traditional' social norm. Unlike other approaches, I assume, for example, that homosexual relationships function differently from heterosexual ones and therefore require a different therapeutic approach.
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doubts the relationship
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fear of anxiety or commitment
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repeated relational patterns
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questions about alienation and identity
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questions of purpose and meaning
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support of queer or LGBT couples
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difficulties with one's orientation or coming out
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questions about alternative sexual expressions (kinks, fetishes, BDSM, ...)
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questions about alternative forms of relationships (open relationships, polyamory, ...)
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difficulties with the reaction of one's environment (family, friends, colleagues, ...)
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feelings of guilt or shame about one's desires
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being 'stuck' in recurring conflicts
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bad communication
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sexual problems
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problems with differences or connection
CONTACT
My office
Nekkerspoelstraat 231, 2800 Mechelen
Getting here
🚶 An 8-minute walk from Mechelen-Nekkerspoel Station
🚂 36 minutes by train from Brussels Central Station
🚂 28 minutes by train from Antwerp Central Station
🚙 parking spaces in surrounding streets
Accessibility
My office is located in the attic of my home. When you ring the doorbell, I will meet you at the front door and guide you through my home and up two flights of stairs. Once upstairs, we will be in a completely private space that is dedicated entirely to facilitating our work together.
Arrival
There is no waiting room. Please do not arrive more than 5 minutes before your appointment.
Reviews
Dispatches from my office
The renovations to our home, which were more extensive than expected, put a strain on our relationship, triggering some intense reactions. Thanks to Nikolaas, we learnt to come to terms with those intense emotions and were able to focus on each other again. He also provided us with the peace of mind and tools we needed to function as a team once more. We are very grateful for his expert and empathetic guidance.
Bruno (46), Brussels
I went to see Nikolaas when I really didn't know how to proceed. Nikolaas helped me organise my thoughts, after which we searched for solutions together—and found them.
Bram (27), Leuven
The beautiful thing about talking to Nikolaas is that absolutely anything can be discussed—no topic is too sensitive—and that everything is received and listened to with great respect and understanding.
As a volunteer, Nikolaas always offered an empathetic ear, bringing specialized knowledge and conversational skill regarding LGBTQI+ topics. He never shies away from any subject and knows how to add a touch of humor to every conversation when appropriate.
Raf (48), Leuven
Julie (Çavaria)